pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So vagazzling was a success
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
