My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
