I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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