I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
