I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
