today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
