if you like me you must not know who I am
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
