i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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