Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
