Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
