Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
there is glitter all over my balls
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