the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
