Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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