Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
