on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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