This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
