My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
