Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
