yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
