Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
