That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
