Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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