weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
