You work out of a Hotel?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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