No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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