Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
