he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
