I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
