last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
