problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
