It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
