the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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