Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
