I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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