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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
