butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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