The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
They have beer where we have blood.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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