I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My ass is underappreciated
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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