just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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