idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
