I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Green mimosas i think yes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
