16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
