What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
