I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
