You really coming over, don't trick.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
