Pants 0. Shit 1.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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