um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
