Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
