im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
