so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
