How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
