I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
